“You’re going to beat this.” That’s right, lose that line for good, especially with later stage warriors. It is a bold claim and easy to spout. It exudes confidence, reinforces optimism and instills inspiration. So how could saying it possibly be a mistake? Unfortunately, it places the burden of ultimate victory squarely on the patient. They desperately want to be healed. They are probably doing more than you realize to get well, but having complete responsibility to get well can be overwhelming. And keep this in mind, no matter how tough your patient appears, most are much weaker than they let on. How do I know this? They tell me this in private and I often felt that way myself during my own battle. I hear it all the time; very few people grasp what the patient is going through.
Lance Armstrong seems to be the epitome of the triumph of the human spirit but living strong has its limits. Consider what his longtime coach and confidante Chris Carmichael said in an interview with USA Today:
“People believe that Lance is a tough guy: He beat cancer, he willed it away. They think he left this Earth and is invincible. That’s far from the truth. He has the same mortality as anyone else. He dealt with cancer the same way as anyone else. I saw him scared and fearful, with all the human emotions associated with that intense experience.” (USA TODAY – 5/22/2002).
To really love someone in the midst of crisis we should follow Paul’s advice and “Weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). And, “To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak” (1 Corinthians 9:22). We tend to want to lift strugglers out of weakness with just a turn of a phrase. It rarely works that way. People need to feel unconditionally accepted, understood and supported, especially in a crisis. They need to look to the Lord more than to themselves. If they have permission to be weak around you, ironically then they will be able to draw upon your strength and the Lord’s. “With the Lord’s help, you will beat this.”
I rec’d the gift basket due to my dtr sending my name to this website of Stronghold. It came at a good time. I am female, a senior. . Two years ago in May I was diagnosed with breast cancer with mets to my bones. Stage IV .. Placed on meds. Although I am in far less pain than I was two years ago, able to do more. I am still battling fatigue, weakness and pain. I did have radiation to my hip. I really do have cancer. It is not a joke to me. Large tumors, one found by accident. One under my arm for a while for which I had actively sought diagnosis and treatment. I do not have a church. My daughter lives 45 minutes from me, in good weather.
I had some real ups and downs with this diagnosis. Not fake. The Lord,had it not been for the Lord on my side and my daughter at that time. At this time,I am dealing with fatigue, more weakness than fatigue, and a very sore shoulder which is recurrent. I read the statements of people on websites, in books, and the horrible ordeals they have gone through and I do not understand how they can survive all that and continue to be positive and upbeat. This really got me down. I have not been through the hades they have been, this was far far bad enough. My heart and soul goes out to all of you. Please pray for me. I am not a baby, really, about this. Been very very painful, the hip, the shoulder, the surgeries, the biopsies, getting on and off those tables was an ordeal of pain. Much less pain now due to radiation and due to medication of which I take little. I pray for all victims of cancer. Please pray for me that I will, as a Christian, not be a shame to the Lord. He has not deserted me, by far, and is not condemning me at this time . I do not have the benefit of a church. Neighbors in this complex have been tolerant , I know very few. Pray for them and pray for me and my daughter and her family. A few months ago they gave birth to their sixth child, a premature infant, l lb l0 oz, a real fighter. He is up to twelve lbs, very low oxygen flow, and home. They have a sister, my granddaughter, who also has something called basal cell carcinoma syndrome. Two of my sisters passed away, unexpectedly for me, since I moved here, with cancer. My DIL who was around forty, died of cancer recently. Please pray for us.
I have tests and other coming up. I cannot stand the tx for my bones. It makes me weak and sick Hurts really bad. The medicine I take,hormone blocker, thins bones. So, I am going to have them find something else.
Alaskans do not get much sun, Ca and Vit D is important. I’d lost height already. I don’t mean to complain. I do not want to complain. I want to be positive and upbeat..